Hello all! Well, I'm off bedrest. Thank goodness! I played more Tetris than I care to admit. I'm feeling pretty good most of the time. The past couple of days for some reason I have these moments where I completely freak out for a couple of hours. I'm so nervous to find out the outcome and want with all my heart and everything in me to be pregnant. The thought of a negative test is just too much. So I pray, well beg really, for God to bless us with pregnancy.
It's a strange feeling, the TOTAL loss of control. I know that there is absolutely nothing the doctor can do, nothing Chris can do, nothing I can do, to make it happen. Only the Lord himself has that power. And I am sitting here powerLESS, waiting to find out what God thinks about whether we get to be pregnant. So my answer... pure, unadulterated begging. I'm sure God is up there just laughing a little under his breath, but kinda smiling like "What I'm not laughing?". I can just picture it. It helps me to think He has a sense of humor. I'm just hoping it's in my favor.
Anyway, so I'm praying for that peace that transcends understanding. If you could pray that with me, I would be your best friend. I really need some peace right now. I'm trying but it can't come of my own power. I'm not capable. The waiting is just torture. Until then, I'm glad to go back to work tonight and have something else to focus on for a while. Love and Blessings.
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3 comments:
I'll pray for that for you, too.
I spent this whole pregnancy fearing the worse and planning out how to react to another miscarriage. I didn't enjoy Christmas or all winter because I was so nervous.
I wish I had had the ability to look outside my self and ask others to pray for me, too. You are very wise!
I'm praying for you guys!!!
We are on it friend. Getting back to work will help keep your mind on other things.
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