Well we've had 2 home study visits now. The first was last Thursday with the both of us. Robin, our social worker, asked mostly basic questions to the both of us. How did we meet? What do we like about each other? When and where did we get married? Etc. It lasted about an hour and a half.
Today, I had my individual interview. It wasn't bad. She asked a lot of background questions and some questions about adoption. I think it went fine. I do find myself wondering if I sound crazy or not though! Overall I think the process is going well. The next visit will be Chris's individual interview. That will happen after spring break. Robin is going on vacation for spring break with her family.
I do find myself more and more wishing and hoping that we are able to pick up our child soon! I'm doing all kinds of crazy things like shopping online for cribs and bedding. Thinking about onesies, carseats, and strollers. I keep trying to figure out just what exactly is appropriate for me to be doing right now. I even bought a book, What to Expect in the First Year, to read about what stages and milestones our little one will be approaching when we bring them home. Man, I feel like a nut. Is this the equivalent of "nesting" that a lot of pregnant women go through? Am I crazy? How is it possible to maintain this kind of excitement? I'm trying to keep myself in check though. I haven't bought anything....yet. I just can't wait to get my hands on that precious one! Oh patience, Lord, patience....for me that is!
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Friday, March 12, 2010
Divine Purposes
Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, "My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will." Matthew 26:39
During the days of Jesus' life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with loud cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission. Although he was a son, he learned obedience from what he suffered and, once made perfect, became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him... Hebrews 5:7 (emphasis mine)
The question of "why".... I would definitely say that I have struggled with "why" over the past 3 years. Some of those struggles you have witnessed on our blog. Why did we not get pregnant? Why does God choose to give children to those not following Him or who can't handle the responsiblity? Why is there suffering? There are a million whys out there. Now I'm not going to claim that I have the answer to the "why" question, but I will say that I have been given a peace recently about the "why" question. Let me explain....
I recently found the above verses while doing a Beth Moore study through the women's ministry at our church. They couldn't have come to me at a more appropriate time! As I looked more closely at the verses, and myself, I realized that sometimes I just don't feel heard, especially if I don't get my way. Case in point, our fertility struggles. I felt, to some extent, that God was just ignoring all the prayer for children and all the scripture we'd been praying. Knowing that God is good is the only thing that kept me going when I just didn't understand. The truth is I may never understand this side of heaven. Does that mean God doesn't hear us? Absolutely not. I was really put in my place after reading those scriptures (oh, the sweet discipline of our Lord)! Jesus Christ, God's only son pled not to have to endure death on a cross. Take this cup from me he asked. Our Lord was saying, please, please let there be another way! And he was heard. Let me say that again, he was heard. Did that mean that God changed His plan? No, thank goodness! Sometimes our very valid requests, even our scripturally based requests, are outside God's plan. Sometimes divine purposes take precedence. Imagine if God had said to Jesus, "Okay, you are my Son, since you desperately want this, I'll grant your request. I'll take this cup from you." I would be in some sort of desperate, alone, guiltridden mess. I would be eternally separated from our Lord! How thankful I am that God does what is best, not what we want!
Now it is still a tough pill to swallow. The implications of all this is something I will be working out for a long time to come. But it is a comfort to me that there are divine purposes at work here. I may never understand them, but they are there. I know they are because God is good. I know they are because He chose salvation over His Son. I know they are because it is only due to the work God is doing on my heart that I can walk through this trial. I know that they are because right now our child is being prepared for us half way around the world! God is good!
During the days of Jesus' life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with loud cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission. Although he was a son, he learned obedience from what he suffered and, once made perfect, became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him... Hebrews 5:7 (emphasis mine)
The question of "why".... I would definitely say that I have struggled with "why" over the past 3 years. Some of those struggles you have witnessed on our blog. Why did we not get pregnant? Why does God choose to give children to those not following Him or who can't handle the responsiblity? Why is there suffering? There are a million whys out there. Now I'm not going to claim that I have the answer to the "why" question, but I will say that I have been given a peace recently about the "why" question. Let me explain....
I recently found the above verses while doing a Beth Moore study through the women's ministry at our church. They couldn't have come to me at a more appropriate time! As I looked more closely at the verses, and myself, I realized that sometimes I just don't feel heard, especially if I don't get my way. Case in point, our fertility struggles. I felt, to some extent, that God was just ignoring all the prayer for children and all the scripture we'd been praying. Knowing that God is good is the only thing that kept me going when I just didn't understand. The truth is I may never understand this side of heaven. Does that mean God doesn't hear us? Absolutely not. I was really put in my place after reading those scriptures (oh, the sweet discipline of our Lord)! Jesus Christ, God's only son pled not to have to endure death on a cross. Take this cup from me he asked. Our Lord was saying, please, please let there be another way! And he was heard. Let me say that again, he was heard. Did that mean that God changed His plan? No, thank goodness! Sometimes our very valid requests, even our scripturally based requests, are outside God's plan. Sometimes divine purposes take precedence. Imagine if God had said to Jesus, "Okay, you are my Son, since you desperately want this, I'll grant your request. I'll take this cup from you." I would be in some sort of desperate, alone, guiltridden mess. I would be eternally separated from our Lord! How thankful I am that God does what is best, not what we want!
Now it is still a tough pill to swallow. The implications of all this is something I will be working out for a long time to come. But it is a comfort to me that there are divine purposes at work here. I may never understand them, but they are there. I know they are because God is good. I know they are because He chose salvation over His Son. I know they are because it is only due to the work God is doing on my heart that I can walk through this trial. I know that they are because right now our child is being prepared for us half way around the world! God is good!
Monday, March 1, 2010
Getting Up to Speed
Okay, so again, I'm a slacker about posting. But we have BIG news! We are amazed at how God works and how He answers prayers! There is a lot of background to this story, but to save you some suspense I will tell you the news first and then explain. The news is........We have started the adoption process!!!!
As many of you know, our journey to starting a family has not been an easy one. We have been on a long break from fertility treatments since our last IVF cycle. This is where the story begins. We have always felt that we would adopt even prior to getting married. Both of us feel particularly inclined to adopt internationally, and even more specifically, from an asian country. Our fertility journey actually spawned from our initial inquiries into international adoption. I will spare you the details on that starting journey, and of course, you know the fertility journey.
Back in January, we began feeling led to start looking at the next steps for starting a family. We have 2 frozen embryos from our last IVF cycle and felt it was only logical to pursue implanting them. However, we knew we wanted to seek a second opinion and we did that with a doctor in St.Louis. That visit did NOT go well. We left confused, discouraged, and frustrated. After a couple days to process we figured out why. The physician's view of our embryos and our view of our embryos did not line up. And yet we did not feel led to seek another opinion just yet, or who that would be.
At the end of that week we were headed to Joplin to meet with our financial planner and were planning on staying with Chris's parents the night before. We went to dinner with them that evening. After explaining our doctor's visit, they had this news to share with us. There is a couple at their church who has been praying for us throughout our fertility process and had themselves struggled with infertility. Chris's parents spoke with them the Sunday before our visit and they asked how we were doing. Then they suggested to his parents that when and if we were ready to adopt, they would love to talk with us about their adoption through a missionary couple running an orphanage in Taiwan. Some details were shared about cost and how they knew the missionary couple, etc. At dinner, his parents relayed the info and Chris and I just looked at each other..... If all of this was true, it was exactly what we had been praying for! We felt that if adoption was our next step that God wanted us to pursue, it would have to be something that basically found us. Our international adoption dreams, specifically asian, had just been placed in our laps!
Since then, we have been emailing the couple in Taiwan at the orphanage and felt led to pursue adoption through them. We started our home study process on this past Thursday and mailed a ton of application stuff off today! We are excited and looking forward to seeing the unfolding of our family! Everything so far seems to just be falling into place. It is impossible to imagine how this could possibly have happened without the hand of God. So we will follow!
We will try to do our best at updating the blog as more info and news comes in. Please pray for our process and the child God is preparing for us right now!
Blessings,
Amy and Chris
As many of you know, our journey to starting a family has not been an easy one. We have been on a long break from fertility treatments since our last IVF cycle. This is where the story begins. We have always felt that we would adopt even prior to getting married. Both of us feel particularly inclined to adopt internationally, and even more specifically, from an asian country. Our fertility journey actually spawned from our initial inquiries into international adoption. I will spare you the details on that starting journey, and of course, you know the fertility journey.
Back in January, we began feeling led to start looking at the next steps for starting a family. We have 2 frozen embryos from our last IVF cycle and felt it was only logical to pursue implanting them. However, we knew we wanted to seek a second opinion and we did that with a doctor in St.Louis. That visit did NOT go well. We left confused, discouraged, and frustrated. After a couple days to process we figured out why. The physician's view of our embryos and our view of our embryos did not line up. And yet we did not feel led to seek another opinion just yet, or who that would be.
At the end of that week we were headed to Joplin to meet with our financial planner and were planning on staying with Chris's parents the night before. We went to dinner with them that evening. After explaining our doctor's visit, they had this news to share with us. There is a couple at their church who has been praying for us throughout our fertility process and had themselves struggled with infertility. Chris's parents spoke with them the Sunday before our visit and they asked how we were doing. Then they suggested to his parents that when and if we were ready to adopt, they would love to talk with us about their adoption through a missionary couple running an orphanage in Taiwan. Some details were shared about cost and how they knew the missionary couple, etc. At dinner, his parents relayed the info and Chris and I just looked at each other..... If all of this was true, it was exactly what we had been praying for! We felt that if adoption was our next step that God wanted us to pursue, it would have to be something that basically found us. Our international adoption dreams, specifically asian, had just been placed in our laps!
Since then, we have been emailing the couple in Taiwan at the orphanage and felt led to pursue adoption through them. We started our home study process on this past Thursday and mailed a ton of application stuff off today! We are excited and looking forward to seeing the unfolding of our family! Everything so far seems to just be falling into place. It is impossible to imagine how this could possibly have happened without the hand of God. So we will follow!
We will try to do our best at updating the blog as more info and news comes in. Please pray for our process and the child God is preparing for us right now!
Blessings,
Amy and Chris
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