Love that Smile!

This is my precious baby girl's July picture! She got her care package 2 days ago and this is one of the outfits we sent her and Wu! Man, I just love that smile!!!!! She is just the cutest!!! I can't wait to love on her!!!! Can you tell I'm super excited?!!

Thank you for all the prayers, you guys are good (and fast)! God is definitely answering prayers (not that that was in question,lol)! She got her care package, that was one request on the list. Next, we got our I600A approval today as well!!!!! Such wonderful news all the way around! I can hardly contain myself. Other good news, I think we will get our court date soon. Another couple who requested their court date 2 days before us, received their date today. I think ours will follow soon! My guess is the court date will be August 2, Chris thinks it will be July 30. We'll see, only time will tell.

In other news, I painted Lillian's room this past weekend. It is a pale yellow. And while it is by no means done, it's a start. As you might remember, my aunt is making the bedding. Chris asked me one day about the curtains.... I forgot about the curtains?! So I went back to the fabric store and bought the last of the main fabric I picked out. I embarked on an educational journey and made the valance and curtains myself. I did have to rip a few seams out and do some things twice, but you live you learn! So you can enjoy my work in progress!

Thanks for all the prayers, and keep praying!!! Pray for Lillian, the court date to arrive soon and the birth mother to be present, pray for the workers, pray for the other families picking up their children and those waiting like us, and of course pray for us! You guys are doing such an awesome job! We feel your prayers and it is evident each step of the way! We are soooooo thankful for all of you and the support you've shown us!!! Blessings and Praise the Lord!!!

Papers Arrived in Taiwan

Our papers (translated and authenticated POA, adoption contract, Lillian's visa application, homestudy) were received by THOGL in Taiwan yesterday! They have already taken them to the court to apply for a court date!!! This is wonderful news!

The next steps are to receive the court date, have court date (with birth mother present), and get the court decree back saying Lillian is ours. After those steps happen, provided we have our I600A approval, we can travel in about a month. The court date will take 2-4 weeks to get set, then the actual court date is usually about a month later. There is then a 2 week period after the court date where anyone can contest the adoption. Sometimes the birth mother can waive this waiting period. We are hoping that we will be able to travel by the beginning of September! We'll see, it all just depends on the timing of the next few steps.

Prayer requests:
1. Pray for our Lillian to continue to grow and develop healthy
2. Pray for the workers, adequate rest and health
3. Pray that our court date would be set and received soon
4. Pray that the birth mother would show up to court, for her heart to be prepared, and that God would bless her for her decision
5. Pray for our I600A approval to come through soon.
6. Pray for us during this wait, it is extremely difficult to know she is there and we can't hold her and love on her
7. Pray for the other families picking up their children this week, and those waiting to pick their children up just like us.

How great is our God!!! I tell you what, just processing our adoption process it makes me think of what our Lord has gone through to bring us home. Not only did He have to die for me, He waited 19 years for me to join His family! I can't possibly imagine loving Lillian from a distance for 19 years, wondering if she knew who I am, wondering if she would love me and choose me. I can't imagine waiting 19 years for her to come home! How much I would miss! And yet our Lord waits patiently for us, longing to hold us and love us! Amazing, it really is amazing! How thankful I am that I have Him to lean on and trust in this wait, He has been there! Praise the Lord!

TECO DONE

"He settles the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of children. Praise the Lord!" Psalm 113:9

This morning Chris went to Kansas City praying that our TECO papers were signed! He left on faith that they would be done, not having heard from the office yet. He had lots to accomplish back here with work so he had to leave early. I also worked today, so I could not go. He was 20 minutes from the TECO office when they called to let us know our documents were done!!! He picked them up and then went straight to FedEx and mailed them to Taiwan. Yeah, one more step closer to bringing Lillian home!!!!!!

Well, I think I'm finally done registering..... I really have no idea, so if you notice I'm missing something I really need let me know! We are officially registered at Babies R Us, Target, and Walmart. (Walmart is primarily just diapers and wipes and things of the like.)

I guess next is trying to pick the color for the walls. Oh the paint swatches! Anyone who knows my history with paint knows I'll have like 50 swatches painted on the wall to try and figure out which one I like. Oh yeah, then I'll stare at them for weeks on end, lol!

Happy Father's Day!!!

I told Chris this evening that I don't think I'll ever get tired of telling him Happy Father's Day! Finally having our Lillian (although not home yet) makes saying that phrase sooooo sweet! So to celebrate Father's Day, Chris got his first Father's Day card. (He is going to be an AMAZING Dad!) We finished registering at Target. We also spent it working on Lillian's room!

Last night Chris put the crib together.

I also washed the Lillian's clothes. I cleaned out the closet in her room, bought a few hangers, and hung the clothes up!

Starting to put the room together makes it truly feel like we will be bringing our precious Lillian home for real soon! It's just amazing! I would add, though, that it also makes the wait all the harder! I want to hold her and love on her NOW! How can you miss someone so much that you've never met?! In the meantime I will stare at my current favorite picture of her and pray!

Maybe Monday....

Well we went to drop off our niece and nephew in Kansas City yesterday. I miss them already. The house is so quiet without them. And despite what most think, I miss hearing: "Aunt Amy, Aunt Amy"! They are with Nana and Papa now, having a blast I might add!

Our next stop, with only 1 nephew in tow, was the TECO office. We had expected to be able to pick up all our authenticated documents, but alas they were not ready. We were bummed but understand the lady at the TECO office had done everything she could to get them ready for us. Her boss that needed to sign them did not come back to the office to sign them that day. So she told us maybe Monday and that she would call us when they are ready. So we wait. That's okay, though, all in God's timing. Although we ARE eager to hold our Lillian, so the sooner the better!

So we returned home last night, only to awake this morning and drive the other direction to meet my Dad and brother to drop off our other nephew, Michael, to go home. Sad to have our last one leave. Some great memories this week though! What fun to watch them grow and to love on them! We got to spoil them and send them home, just like good aunt and uncles should!

Getting Closer!

Well, our nieces and nephews have been out this week for Cousin Camp! It's been great fun! This is the reason for our delay in posting. We have been a touch preoccupied with 3 kids here this week, ages 6, 5, and 2 1/2. We've been going to the playground, at Bonkers, playing Wii, going swimming, painting photo frames, playing games, reading bedtime stories, and many other activities!

During all the chaos of going from none to 3 for the week, we did receive our adoption contract, POA, and translated home study! So we took an afternoon trip to Jeff City to get our papers authenticated by the Secretary of State with the kids in tow. The following day, Chris took the papers to TECO while I took the kids swimming at a friend's house. Soooo....tomorrow we are taking all 3 kids with us back to KC to pick up the papers from TECO and FedEx them to Taiwan! The documents should be ready around 3pm! We are also meeting Chris' parents while we're there and they are taking 2 of the kids for the next week. Larkin and Sheldon will spend a week with Nana and Papa before they drive them back out to North Carolina to be with Mommy and Daddy again.

So we will be down to just our nephew in the house. We meet back up with his Daddy (my brother) on Saturday for him to go home. The house will seem so quiet without them all here. Cousin Camp is a treasure and such a great time to get to know our little niece and nephews! It's not often that we get to spend this kind of time with them since they live so far away from us. I will miss them tons!! It's bittersweet for me. I will miss them, but at the same time I can get back to focusing on our Lillian and preparing for her to come home!

Upcoming Tour of Missouri, LOL

Well we just got word this morning that our homestudy is done being translated as well as our POA (Power of Attorney). They will be sending it to us tomorrow!!!! Yeah! After we receive it, we get to make a couple of trips around MO. We have to go to Jefferson City to have them notarized and then authenticated by the Secretary of State. After that's done, then it's off to Kansas City to TECO (Taiwan Economic and Cultural Office) for them to authenticate it as well. They will then send it back to us or we can pick it up a few days later.

We're getting closer and closer each day to our little girl coming home! Oh how I wish it could be tomorrow! In the end it will be worth it! And besides, if it were tomorrow, I would have no where for her to sleep, lol!

Pray that the papers do NOT get lost in the mail. Pray that we can get them to Jeff City and KC all in one day and that they return to us quickly. The sooner we get this paperwork back to Taiwan, the sooner they can get our first court date! Also pray that our I600A will be approved soon. It must be approved and sent to Taiwan before we can travel. Also, pray for decision making on some things already scheduled (nothing to do with adoption) and wisdom on if and when to do them. As always, pray for Lillian and THOGL!

Blessings,
Amy (and Chris)

Lillian's Room

We are so excited about getting Lillian's room together! Unfortunately we can't start that yet as we have no furniture, no bedding etc. All in due time though! I have been looking at bedding but have not found anything that I particularly like. Everything is SO pink. I have nothing against pink, I actually like pink, but I don't really want a room full of it. That is really hard when it comes to baby bedding for girls. Soooooo.... I went fabric shopping. My aunt agreed to make Lillian's baby bedding, and I just can't wait! What a wonderful gift Aunt Carolyn has with sewing and how much more special will her room be because of it! Below are pictures of the fabric I picked out.

Top: Dust Ruffle, Crib Sheets.

Bottom: Quilt Fabrics, Inside/Outside Bumpers

Now before you write me any notes telling me about the controversy about crib bumpers, I am aware of it. I have read about both sides. I have no objection to the crib bumper. Disagree if you will, that's okay.

Anyway, I can't wait to see it all put together! I'm calling the theme "Love Grows"!

Praise the Lord!

It's a girl!!! We named her Lillian Mei Earhart! She is absolutely gorgeous and adorable! We can't wait to meet her! Below are the 2 pictures we have of her. The one in the pink blanket is the most recent, the one in white is when she was 10 days old and her first day at THOGL.

We found out yesterday morning that she is ours! She is 7 weeks old tomorrow, born on April 17, 2010. We spent all of yesterday calling family and friends! The first picture(at the top) of us we sent to my Mom, Dad, and brother which was immediately followed by phone calls! Chris's parent found out by a return from their little man.... He had been traveling and came back home with a letter that told them they have a granddaughter waiting in Taiwan!

We had April at Shon and Michelle's church give them this onesie to anounce that they were going to be an Aunt and Uncle.

The timing couldn't have been more perfect! It's amazing to see just how God cares for us! I had been praying that we would find out before our fingerprinting appt in St.Louis. I really wanted to be able to register while we were in St.Louis as well as make a Build-A-Bear to send to Lillian (we did not get our registry finished, but started). Well, yesterday we went to St.Louis to get our fingerprinting done! That is also another praise! The system that sets up the appts for fingerprinting is all automated, so I had an appt yesterday, but Chris' wasn't for another 2 weeks. It's a 2 hour drive to St.Louis so we had been praying that they would allow us to do both at the same time. So we took our letters and had no problem getting both of our fingerprints done! God is amazing! It was the best government experience we have ever had. It took a total of maybe 15 minutes for both of us to be done, the staff was extremely friendly, and they even had us fill out a comment card at the end!

Our next stop was Build-A-Bear! We made a tiger to send to Lillian and in it's left arm we were able to record our voices for her to hear until we get to go pick her up! Her Chinese last name is Wu (we cannot pronounce her given name in chinese, and for privacy sake we'll leave that off here). So we named the tiger Wu!

We also picked up two outfits, a couple blankets, a rattle, and a photo book we can put our family pictures in, and then of course Wu is in the picture. All of this we are going to mail on Monday to her.

As of now, there is still a ton of paperwork to be done and more of the great paper chase has begun! Bev said to plan emotionally for about 5 more months until we get to go pick her up. That is going to be a long 5 months, but it will be totally worth it!

In the meantime, please pray for a smooth process and that the court date in Taiwan will be set soon! Pray for Bev and THOGL staff as there have been some major events there and lots of babies waiting for their Forever Families to pick them up! Pray for us as we prepare to be parents for our little Lillian and that we will be able to get our side of the paperwork done without any problems. Pray for Lillian in her time left at THOGL and that she will attach to us once we get to meet her! Most of all, praise the Lord for our new blessing and just how much our Lord cares about us right down to the little details!

Blessings,
Amy and Chris

PS--Please don't post anything on Facebook as of yet, as this is a request of Bev!

Patient in Waiting

"Be joyful in hope, patient in [waiting], faithful in prayer." Romans 12:12

Okay, I did change one word, I exchanged waiting for affliction. I think is is applicable. My affliction right now is waiting! We certainly are joyful right now. Anytime anyone asks me about how our adoption process is going and tells us how excited they are for us, I just beam! I know I do. I'm so excited I can't hardly stand it!

I'm also praying hard!! We're praying for Ted and Bev as they are caring for so many babies and making life changing decisions for parents and kids! We are praying for our little one that God will bless us with soon. We are praying for us in this process. Oh the prayers never stop!

The hard one is being patient. Patience has never been my strong suit. I'm persistent though, so does that count? Don't ever tell me I can't do something, cause I WILL prove you wrong. I tried out for colorguard 3 years in a row before I made it. My academic advisor in college told me I'd never get into nursing school at Auburn; 2 years later I was accepted. Trust me I've got others. Anyway, we're trying to be patient now--we've been persistant.

Good news though....We got word from Ted and Bev yesterday that they are having our home study translated into Chinese. They also told us that we definitely need to be working on our I600A. (We have already sent that in 2 weeks ago and have our fingerprinting appts now.) While that's not a referral, it sure sounds like steps in the right direction and certainly good news!

Blessings,
The Earharts

Are we there yet?

We are far from there yet....but still, I keep hoping. We sent our I-600A form off last week. I know, I know, what's that?! It's the petition you file for advance placement of a child. Basically it's the visa and a form that when it's approved makes the child a US citizen once he/she is on US soil. It takes a little while for that to be processed, probably upwards of at least 8 weeks. Good thing is you can file it before you get your referral (the call stating there is a child for us). But for now, we wait.

I must say it is very hard to concentrate knowing that any time we could get a call. Everytime the phone rings, I wonder (and quickly check the caller ID) "Is this the call?" Somehow I need to find a diversion. I pray a lot....but I still think about it. I read adoption books, I look at baby stuff online, I think about what Taiwan will be like, what it will be like when he/she is home. Anway, for now, I'll just have to wait and imagine.....

Patience Dear One

Hello all! As you can see from Chris's post, our home study is done!!!! Praise the Lord!!! Now it's just hurry up and wait. The hard part. But we know that the Lord is good and has been with us every step of this journey. We are trusting in his perfect timing! Oh how I long for the day we get our hands on that little one!!!! In the meantime I keep thinking of Aslan's quote from the movie Chronicals of Narnia, "Patience Dear One".

Pray for our peace and contentment in this time of waiting. Pray for our little one's peace as well until he/she gets to come home with us. Pray also, even now, for our little one's attachment and transition to our Forever Family. Pray for Ted and Bev as they are not only making big decisions but taking care of all those little babies! We have heard through THOGL's facebook page that several families have gotten their referrals and are in process of court dates in Taiwain, preparing to travel, etc. Pray for those families and that their final steps would go smoothly. And lastly, praise, praise, praise the Lord for all his blessings!

Love and Blessings,
Amy

Home Study is Done!!

Our Home Study is finally done, signed, and emailed to Ted and Bev. They emailed that they received it and said we should go ahead and send in our I600A paperwork. This goes to the government to approve us to adopt, to adopt from Taiwan, and to travel to Taiwan. We will also have to have our finger printing done a second time. We have everything put together to send our paperwork off, so we should be able to send it Monday.

We have no referral at this time and no indication how long the wait will be. Please pray that it will be soon.

God bless,
Chris

The Passover Lamb

As you might have caught a couple of posts ago, I'm in a Beth Moore Bible study at church, Jesus the One and Only. I highly recommend it for any of you who may not have done it. She has a real knack for making you think of things in a different light. Anyway, I was reading back over some of my older posts and realized the same verse keeps coming up, and guess what...it is back again this week.

"Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done."
Luke 22:42

It is, of course, listed in Matthew's gospel and in Hebrews as well. Still, it is basically the same verse. I guess God is trying to tell me something. Being that today is Easter and I find myself reflecting on this verse quite a bit. I was amazed to listen to Beth's extrapalation on the meaning of "this cup". God sure is in the details! I have always known that Jesus was the Lamb, the Passover. That is just something you come to know and hear as you grow in your walk and learn at church. I did not fully grasp this until going back and rereading the passages in Exodus dealing with the Passover and listening to the traditions of the Jews celebrating the Passover. It was amazing!!! Apparently there are 4 cups during the Passover Feast and 4 "I will" promises represented in those cups, found in Exodus. Christ is the cup of redemption from the Passover. Of course I've known for quite some time now that He is the Redeemer. Processing that He planned that long before it ever took place, long before the disciples could understand exactly what He meant. To imagine him standing up in that room telling the disciples that is just overwhelming! I cannot fully express all my thoughts on this because I'm still trying to wrap my head around the very specific meaning it carried the moment He said it. I never connected the details. I knew the symbolism, I understand the impact, but I missed the very specific details. God is so deliberate, so perfect, and so concerned with us, with me. Amazing to process!

I pray that in this Easter, you have found God even in the details. If you don't know him personally, I pray that you find Him. He is precious and cares for us more that we can imagine! Thank the Lord that He made the decision to be our cup, our Lamb! He is risen!

Home Study Madness

Well we've had 2 home study visits now. The first was last Thursday with the both of us. Robin, our social worker, asked mostly basic questions to the both of us. How did we meet? What do we like about each other? When and where did we get married? Etc. It lasted about an hour and a half.

Today, I had my individual interview. It wasn't bad. She asked a lot of background questions and some questions about adoption. I think it went fine. I do find myself wondering if I sound crazy or not though! Overall I think the process is going well. The next visit will be Chris's individual interview. That will happen after spring break. Robin is going on vacation for spring break with her family.

I do find myself more and more wishing and hoping that we are able to pick up our child soon! I'm doing all kinds of crazy things like shopping online for cribs and bedding. Thinking about onesies, carseats, and strollers. I keep trying to figure out just what exactly is appropriate for me to be doing right now. I even bought a book, What to Expect in the First Year, to read about what stages and milestones our little one will be approaching when we bring them home. Man, I feel like a nut. Is this the equivalent of "nesting" that a lot of pregnant women go through? Am I crazy? How is it possible to maintain this kind of excitement? I'm trying to keep myself in check though. I haven't bought anything....yet. I just can't wait to get my hands on that precious one! Oh patience, Lord, patience....for me that is!

Divine Purposes

Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, "My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will." Matthew 26:39

During the days of Jesus' life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with loud cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission. Although he was a son, he learned obedience from what he suffered and, once made perfect, became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him... Hebrews 5:7 (emphasis mine)


The question of "why".... I would definitely say that I have struggled with "why" over the past 3 years. Some of those struggles you have witnessed on our blog. Why did we not get pregnant? Why does God choose to give children to those not following Him or who can't handle the responsiblity? Why is there suffering? There are a million whys out there. Now I'm not going to claim that I have the answer to the "why" question, but I will say that I have been given a peace recently about the "why" question. Let me explain....

I recently found the above verses while doing a Beth Moore study through the women's ministry at our church. They couldn't have come to me at a more appropriate time! As I looked more closely at the verses, and myself, I realized that sometimes I just don't feel heard, especially if I don't get my way. Case in point, our fertility struggles. I felt, to some extent, that God was just ignoring all the prayer for children and all the scripture we'd been praying. Knowing that God is good is the only thing that kept me going when I just didn't understand. The truth is I may never understand this side of heaven. Does that mean God doesn't hear us? Absolutely not. I was really put in my place after reading those scriptures (oh, the sweet discipline of our Lord)! Jesus Christ, God's only son pled not to have to endure death on a cross. Take this cup from me he asked. Our Lord was saying, please, please let there be another way! And he was heard. Let me say that again, he was heard. Did that mean that God changed His plan? No, thank goodness! Sometimes our very valid requests, even our scripturally based requests, are outside God's plan. Sometimes divine purposes take precedence. Imagine if God had said to Jesus, "Okay, you are my Son, since you desperately want this, I'll grant your request. I'll take this cup from you." I would be in some sort of desperate, alone, guiltridden mess. I would be eternally separated from our Lord! How thankful I am that God does what is best, not what we want!

Now it is still a tough pill to swallow. The implications of all this is something I will be working out for a long time to come. But it is a comfort to me that there are divine purposes at work here. I may never understand them, but they are there. I know they are because God is good. I know they are because He chose salvation over His Son. I know they are because it is only due to the work God is doing on my heart that I can walk through this trial. I know that they are because right now our child is being prepared for us half way around the world! God is good!

Getting Up to Speed

Okay, so again, I'm a slacker about posting. But we have BIG news! We are amazed at how God works and how He answers prayers! There is a lot of background to this story, but to save you some suspense I will tell you the news first and then explain. The news is........We have started the adoption process!!!!

As many of you know, our journey to starting a family has not been an easy one. We have been on a long break from fertility treatments since our last IVF cycle. This is where the story begins. We have always felt that we would adopt even prior to getting married. Both of us feel particularly inclined to adopt internationally, and even more specifically, from an asian country. Our fertility journey actually spawned from our initial inquiries into international adoption. I will spare you the details on that starting journey, and of course, you know the fertility journey.

Back in January, we began feeling led to start looking at the next steps for starting a family. We have 2 frozen embryos from our last IVF cycle and felt it was only logical to pursue implanting them. However, we knew we wanted to seek a second opinion and we did that with a doctor in St.Louis. That visit did NOT go well. We left confused, discouraged, and frustrated. After a couple days to process we figured out why. The physician's view of our embryos and our view of our embryos did not line up. And yet we did not feel led to seek another opinion just yet, or who that would be.

At the end of that week we were headed to Joplin to meet with our financial planner and were planning on staying with Chris's parents the night before. We went to dinner with them that evening. After explaining our doctor's visit, they had this news to share with us. There is a couple at their church who has been praying for us throughout our fertility process and had themselves struggled with infertility. Chris's parents spoke with them the Sunday before our visit and they asked how we were doing. Then they suggested to his parents that when and if we were ready to adopt, they would love to talk with us about their adoption through a missionary couple running an orphanage in Taiwan. Some details were shared about cost and how they knew the missionary couple, etc. At dinner, his parents relayed the info and Chris and I just looked at each other..... If all of this was true, it was exactly what we had been praying for! We felt that if adoption was our next step that God wanted us to pursue, it would have to be something that basically found us. Our international adoption dreams, specifically asian, had just been placed in our laps!

Since then, we have been emailing the couple in Taiwan at the orphanage and felt led to pursue adoption through them. We started our home study process on this past Thursday and mailed a ton of application stuff off today! We are excited and looking forward to seeing the unfolding of our family! Everything so far seems to just be falling into place. It is impossible to imagine how this could possibly have happened without the hand of God. So we will follow!

We will try to do our best at updating the blog as more info and news comes in. Please pray for our process and the child God is preparing for us right now!

Blessings,
Amy and Chris

We're back, here are pics and videos

Well, we are back from our trip. We had a great time. Some highlights of our trip were, driving the road to Hana, a helicopter ride over Kauai, the Nepali Coast and tons of waterfalls, Pearl Harbor, Volcano National Park, surfing lessons, seeing lava flow into the ocean at night, snorkeling and seeing giant green sea turtles, doing Zip Lines in the mountains of Kauai, and seeing Pilot Whales and Spinner Dolphins.

We have about 300 pictures at our web site, http://www.theearharts.com/. Here is just one of them.

We will probably put together a video of our trip but below are a few short videos we had on our trip.

This first one was a fun one that I wanted to put together. During our trip I tried to take as many pictures of just me. It's was hard to remember to do this and was pretty funny cause most of the time we were around people and they would come up and ask if I'd like them to take a picture of me. I had a lot of fun doing it.

This was something I had never seen before. The locals called these sleeping leaves. The only place we saw them were on the island of Kauai. When you touched the leave it would close up.

I took a video while riding down the Zip Line.

This is Amy coming down the Zip Line. Now if anyone knows Amy you might know that she is extremely afraid of heights. There were 7 zip lines coming down the mountain, the very first one she screamed for about 5 seconds and then smile and had a great time after that and most of the lines she would run and jump off. We both had a great time doing this, and she did an amazing job. Notice her leaning back, no hands, and just smiling.

And, this is me coming down the Zip Line.

Coming Soon....

Well, it's official now.... We are going to Hawaii for our 5th year anniversary!!!!!!! I'm sooo excited about this! For those of you who don't know our anniversary history, this is particularly special to me. Let me explain....

1 year anniversary -- we moved to our....car. No lie, on our anniversary day we moved from Denver for Chris's new job to start in Springfield, MO. Only he had 8 weeks of training to do in Mississippi, so we moved into our car for 2 weeks while visiting family and traveling cross country. Then we moved into a hotel in Mississippi with our dogs. Then we finally moved to the rental house in Springfield, MO...3 months later.

2 year anniversary -- McAlisters Deli owners conference in Philadelphia, MS. Yeah, you're asking where is that...exactly!

3 year anniversary -- Stayed home, bought a grill.

4 year anniversary -- Hmmm...not even sure. Trying for babies, no money. I think Chris was outta town...at a McAlister's conference.

We've always celebrated NOT on our anniversary and doing something else for someone else. So we are going to be on a cruise in Hawaii on our actual anniversary! I'm so pumped! Plus we are going because I made Chris promise when we first got married that he would take me to Hawaii before we had kids.

So it's time... and we're going baby!!! He booked the cruise and flight yesterday. No turning back now! Not thinking about anything else but beaches, waterfalls, volcanoes, great food and having fun! We will be gone about 9-10 days. We leave 9/18 the cruise starts on the 19th and goes through the 26th, then we will be back home the 27th. Our acutal anniversary, by the way, is September 25th. This will be one to remember for sure and the last big trip for a while I'm sure. Can't wait!

Trip Around the World

Well, we are still here trucking along in Columbia. We have not really done anything else with baby stuff, or really talked about it much more. Chris thinks we should just sell the house and travel the world for 3 months. That's his solution to not being pregnant. In all seriousness though, to me the next logical step is frozen embryo transfer (we have 2 from our last cycle). Chris asked me why I thought that was the next logical step....and you know, I didn't really have a good answer. My only thoughts were, well we have them, and I don't want them to just stay frozen while we're not pregnant. I suppose he is right though, that's not a reason to do it. We truly need to pray and see if that is what God wants us to do. At any rate, I guess the positive of the situation is that I can jet ski this summer.

Life outside of baby talk.... I have been working alot lately, or at least it seems that way. I'm also training a new nurse at work. I enjoy teaching so it's a nice change of pace at work. We are going this week/weekend down to Joplin to see Chris' family, his brother and sister-in-law and kids are in town from North Carolina. So that should be fun. We are also thinking about what we want to do for our 5 year anniversary this year. We'd like to take a big trip, but not sure where. Outside of that, we are just hanging out. Hope everyone is well. Blessings--The Earharts

When Your Stomach Drops

Hi everyone. We are getting along here in Columbia okay. I am still sad and disappointed, but trying my best to move on. Trying not to focus on the hurt, and trying not to be mad at God. Not saying that it's working, but I'm trying.

It's funny how when good things are said, you sometimes wonder what is wrong. Chris is in Nixa, MO til Wednesday. He left yesterday evening and it is a long 4 days here without him. McAlisters is rolling out their new menu items this week there. Normally this is not a big deal, except that there are some big changes. They installed a dishwasher, as McAlisters is going to plates and silverware rather than the disposable stuff. Also they are starting a "choose 2" menu option as well as introducing the panini. So it's a big deal and he needed to be there for training and roll out.

All that said, he's out and about tonight with some of our friends from Nixa. He text messaged me. And the bottom just dropped out of my stomach. It was a very sweet text message, but the kinda text message you don't necessarily expect unless....something is wrong. Terribly wrong.
This is what it said:

"We have a great life together and don't worry about any other stuff. I love you."

It was followed by another text message that was also sweet and encouraging about our recent journey. I, of course, immediately called him. I was worried he'd been in an accident and was really hurt or something. He answered and was perfectly safe, eating dinner with our friend Tim. Why is it that our brain automatically goes to the bad side when someone encourages you out of the blue? Strange. It's not like Chris isn't encouraging to me regularly. This is not out of character for him. But because I didn't know exactly where he was and could not lay eyes on him, I totally freaked out. It's a good reminder though, that we sometimes take for granted the best things in our life. If nothing else right now, I am thankful God has given him (Chris) to me. I'm blessed with a wonderful husband going on 5 years now. That is a lot more than some find in a lifetime. There is a lot to be thankful for!

Mad and Confused

Well, as I said yesterday, I'm mad and confused. There are lots of things I don't understand. One of the biggest questions is: why would God tell us to do something He knows is bound for failure and heartbreak? What I mean is, after the last IVF cycle, Chris and I took time to really pray and think about what was next. We had no alternate agenda, we didn't even know at that point what we individually wanted. We both, separately and independently of one another, got the same answer from the Lord. We both felt led to pursue IVF again. Why in the world would He tell us to do that knowing the outcome? Have I considered the possiblity that we were wrong? Absolutely. But I would think if that were the case, at least one of us would have gotten a different answer in February. What exactly is the lesson here? To be mad at God? Cause that's pretty much all I've gotten right now. Right or wrong, that's how I feel. [Now let me also say, that does not mean I have abandoned faith or God. I'm just mad at Him right now. Have you ever been mad at a friend? Doesn't mean you abandon the friendship.]

I also question whether or not we need a second opinion from a different RE. But truthfully, I don't believe it has anything to do with his expertise. I have full confidence in Dr.Wilshire and his staff. The truth is that if God wanted us pregnant right now, we would be, no matter who the doctor was/is. So I refer you back to the above paragraph.

I'm mad that there are 15 year old kids out there getting into all kinds of trouble, sleeping with multiple partners, getting pregnant. I'm mad that 50% of couples are getting divorced and they can get pregnant. I'm just mad. We are a God fearing, committed couple who wants to raise our child in fear of the Lord, in the church. What exactly is wrong with us? Where did we go wrong? I'm not saying that we are necessarily better than anyone else, God knows that we have our faults. But why are we enduring this? If I just knew the reason, maybe then I could stomach this better. As it stands I may never know this side of heaven.

The News...

Well, the news is negative again. We are not surprised. In fact, we have known for a couple of days now that it was coming. Without being graphic, my period has been trying to start since Sunday. I also took a pregnancy test on Monday, which was obviously negative. So there have already been tears. But honestly, I'm just mad and confused. More on that later. For now, this is where we are. Thanks for your prayers and support.

Here's to hoping

Hello all. I am more nervous than ever. I almost don't even want to take a test. Unfortunately, that's a double edged sword. Anyway, my point in writing is to ask for continued prayer for peace. While I know and trust that all is in God's hands and that whatever His will is, is best; I am already having a hard time thinking of the possiblity of negative news on Tuesday. I want to hope, but I find myself scarcely able. Thank you. Love and Blessings.

Peace? That Trancends Understanding?

Hello all! Well, I'm off bedrest. Thank goodness! I played more Tetris than I care to admit. I'm feeling pretty good most of the time. The past couple of days for some reason I have these moments where I completely freak out for a couple of hours. I'm so nervous to find out the outcome and want with all my heart and everything in me to be pregnant. The thought of a negative test is just too much. So I pray, well beg really, for God to bless us with pregnancy.

It's a strange feeling, the TOTAL loss of control. I know that there is absolutely nothing the doctor can do, nothing Chris can do, nothing I can do, to make it happen. Only the Lord himself has that power. And I am sitting here powerLESS, waiting to find out what God thinks about whether we get to be pregnant. So my answer... pure, unadulterated begging. I'm sure God is up there just laughing a little under his breath, but kinda smiling like "What I'm not laughing?". I can just picture it. It helps me to think He has a sense of humor. I'm just hoping it's in my favor.

Anyway, so I'm praying for that peace that transcends understanding. If you could pray that with me, I would be your best friend. I really need some peace right now. I'm trying but it can't come of my own power. I'm not capable. The waiting is just torture. Until then, I'm glad to go back to work tonight and have something else to focus on for a while. Love and Blessings.

Good Phone Calls

Hey everyone! Yesterday after church, Jaime, the embryologist, called with good news! She was able to freeze 2 little blastocyst embryos!!!!! We are so pumped! It is good news on a couple of fronts. One being, we have two little guys that we can transfer at a later date if need be. Two, it is a good sign for this cycle as well. If they implanted the 2 best embryos in me, they should be growing even better than the ones left in the lab did. Since the ones in the lab continued to grow and become blastocysts, there is a high chance the little guys in my belly are doing the same. The sucess rates for implantation are pretty high if the embryos make it to the blastocyst stage. So this was encouraging news indeed! Of course, it is still in the hands of God, and we are ferverently praying that he will bless us with a child this time!!

Bedrest or Boredom?

Hello all! Well, this is one of the diversions on the agenda today. As you all know I have been on bedrest since Thursday after the transfer. Chris has been very good to me and really I cannot complain. It's kinda funny how if you don't have to be on bedrest you can really not do a whole lot and be okay with it. Maybe it's because you know that at anytime you can get up and go do whatever you want. However, when you are forced to do nothing, how quickly the boredom sets in.

Let's see, a list of my diversions so far.... Well, Chris rented a whole bunch of movies which I have tried to spread out to make them last. We started with Kung Fu Panda, a nice animated funny flick, glad we rented it instead of saw it in the theatre. Next was Frost/Nixon--very good, made me wish I actually remembered what I learned in history class about Watergate. Then, the next morning, I began with an old favorite, Pride and Prejudice. I really could watch that one a million more times! Today I watched Hotel for Dogs--cute little flick. I've also played a lot of Tetris on the Wii as well as Galaga. The classics, you gotta love 'em. No Guitar Hero though as I prefer to stand to play the guitar. I have also played alot of spades online. I love spades and it can entertain me for several hours if need be. Of course, there's the usual email and facebook. Oh yeah, I watched Chris clean this morning! Exciting isn't it?! Just a few more days to go.

Dr.Wilshire said I can go to church tomorrow so I'm looking forward to that outing and seeing PEOPLE!! My dogs are great company, but you do get a little stir crazy for other human contact. I've had lots of time to practice that whole pray without ceasing thing too. Just tossing up little ones here and there throughout the day.

Tomorrow sometime we should hear from Jaime, the embryologist, about or remaining embryos and whether or not any will be able to be frozen. Otherwise, we are still waiting and trying not to think about how far away 10 days is from now seems.

Thanks for checking in, hope I wasn't too boring! Ha Ha!

Get in My Belly!

Well, this morning was the big transfer day! At around 8:30am our little embryos got to come home (get in my belly)! We treansferred our 2 best lookin embies. One was at 9 cells and getting ready to compact down, which is on it's was to being a blastocyst (that is the stage when they implant in the uterus). The other one was a 6 cell embryo, Jaime the embryologist thought that it was in process of splitting into the 8 cell stage because of the size of the cells. Dr.Wilshire seemed to be very happy with the 2 we transferred and how the procedure went. Now it's hurry up and wait.

Our other embies will continue to grow in culture until day 5 or 6. Then Jaime will take them out of the incubator and see how they're doing and whether or not they can be freezed (meaning continuing to grow and develop). We have 2 embryos that have pretty much stopped growing that we know of and a 5 cell and another 6 cell that are still in culture. We have hope that the latter two will continue to grow and be able to be frozen!

In the meantime, here I sit on bedrest for the next 3 days at least. I had already switched my schedule around in anticipation of a Saturday transfer. So I have an extra 2 days off in addition to my 3 of bedrest. I will probably continue to stay on bedrest those additional 2 days. The embryos will continue to grow and expand in my belly the next couple of days and then implantation usually takes place on day 5 or 6. So in hopes of implantation I will stay down through day 6 or 7. Hopefully, boredom won't kick in too bad. Back to work on Wednesday of next week. I will actually return on the night shift. Strangely enough, I'm kinda glad to go back on nights that week because it is less stressful and busy. I can sit more and in general it is just a more mellow shift. (This is not to say that we don't work on night shift, we do, it's just a different pace.) I'm hoping that will also help encourage implantation and continued pregnancy. Of course, ultimately it is all in God's strong hands!

Thank you all so much for your prayers and continuing to check in with us. Your support is precious and much appreciated. I would ask mostly for the prayers for patience in this long wait to find out, 2 weeks seems like forever. And as always, pray that we are pregnant with baby Earhart!

Tomorrow, Tomorrow

Hey everyone! Sorry I missed posting the update yesterday. We left to go down to Springfield so Chris could get some work done in the Nixa McAlisters. He will be rolling out some new menu stuff in about 2 weeks there and needed to prepare. I went with him and met up with my dear friend, Marilyn for lunch. I also got to catch up with Laurie, she was/is a wonderful godly mentor to me, especially while I was living there. Chris' parents also drove over from Joplin to have dinner with us. So I got to do all the fun stuff, and Chris did all the work stuff, well and some fun stuff.

Anyway, 8 of our 10 eggs fertilized. That is good news, about 80%. Anything over 70% is excellent. They called again this morning to update us on where the embies are today. We had

5 - 2 cell embryos
1 - 3 cell embryo
2 - 5 cell embryos

Good, bad? I don't think it's either. Normally on day 2 you want them to be at the 4 cell stage. However, the embryologist looked at ours very early this morning and she said that the 2 cell ones may still divide into 4 cells, just that she looked at them so early that they hadn't done it yet. So nothing to worry about there.

We are doing embryo transfer tomorrow instead of day 5 this time. There are a couple of reasons for this. First, I have "thick zonas". The zona is the membrane that surrounds the egg. As the egg divides and grows, the zona should thin out so that the cells can "hatch" out to implant in the uterus. So we are going to do "assisted hatching". This is where they put a teeny, tiny slit in the zona or membrane around the egg to aid the natural hatching process and facilitate implantation. Last time I had slightly thickened zonas, but they thought it shouldn't be a problem. So this time, we're gonna try and change that and help these little guys out. Assisted hatching can only be done (at the clinic we go to) on day 3. Second, the embryologist and Dr.Wilshire think that the sooner they put them back inside me the better. They think the embies will grow better in their natural environment. Which I guess is probably true. There is alot of literature out there both for and against waiting to transfer until day 5. We have to trust in the expertise of Dr.Wilshire and the embryologist on this one. Plus, for whatever the reason was, last time didn't work. So we need to look at why and what things can we change to increase the possibility of us getting pregnant. So here we are, tomorrow is the big day! Transfer Day!

I'm feeling surprisingly fine about everything. I'm not worried, I'm not nervous, just going with the flow. It's kinda freaky though. Laurie said this was me letting go and giving it to God. I hope that is the case. This is just a completely foreign feeling. At the same time, I do know that whatever the outcome, it IS in God's hands. It will be for the best, and I have to focus in and trust in the Lord!

Please pray for a smooth, uneventful transfer. Pray for our emotions as we enter the long wait to find out whether or not we are pregnant. I will be on bedrest the next several days--pray for compliance and lack of boredom. Of course, pray that we will be preggers!!!

Blessings,
The Earharts

Retrieval Day

Good afternoon everyone! Well I'm finally awake again and hangin' here at home. Man, 5:30 am comes really freakin' early!!!! All went well. I, of course, don't remember a thing. They retrieved a couple of basketball teams today (that's 10 eggs for those of you non-sporty peeps).

We got home around 9 am. I then proceeded to nap for another 3-4 hours. I'm awake and feeling fine. A little crampy, but that's expected and the least of all the worries and pains! Now it's just the waiting game, the hardest part of all. Thank goodness that over the next few days we will get updates on the eggs (hopefully embryos tomorrow). That helps pass the time for the first few days.

Thank you for all your prayers up to now! We would love to have your continued prayers for PEACE in this time of waiting, good fertilization rates and that our embies grow, grow, grow! And as always, that the Lord will bless us with a healthy little Earhart in a couple of weeks (starting to grow for 9 months anyway, not that he/she would actually be here in a couple of weeks)! Okay I'm rambling now. Ya'll know what I mean!